making Alexis jump. Hailey breezed in, her arms full of empty boxes. “Whatcha
she met my dad.”
Alexis on the floor. “Can I read, too?”
entry where my dad kissed her for the first time but they were still pretending
to be friends.”
kept them from admitting it.”
wouldn’t have waited that long with Greer, feeling unsure about how someone
else feels about you is terrifying. They were friends, and they both liked each
other’s company so much they were afraid to admit that they each wanted more.
Until it was almost too late.”
down on her bottom. “That was the night of their graduation, right?”
got to May, she slowed down. She’d have to go back and read the rest later, but
now that Hailey had asked to read the engagement, she couldn’t wait to find it,
either. She saw while scanning a few sections where her mom was upset and
crying over leaving Alex. They weren’t planning to be in the same area at all
after graduation, and she was torn up over whether she should come out and tell
him. Apparently they had crossed the line of friendship a few other times after
that one kiss, but neither had brought up what was happening with them.
entries, and she stopped.
composure. “I don’t know why this is hitting me so hard,” she said through
you feel like this could be your life, too. You’ve met an amazing man, and even
though you’re only nineteen, you’re wondering if maybe this is it for you,
should start keeping a diary like this for all of the things she and Greer did
in their relationship so she could read them to her children later in life.
reading over her shoulder.
college. But that also means, I’m done with Alex. Despite everything over the
past few months, neither of us have had the guts to ask the hard questions.
Like what happens now? Are we just friends? Do we visit, keep in touch, say
goodbye? The thought of saying goodbye to him after today makes me physically
graduation we’re going to his apartment for one last hurrah with friends and
families. I’m not sure I’ll make it through that without losing my mind. How do
you say goodbye to someone and keep yourself from falling at their feet and
begging not to let you go?
gown and get going. Today’s a happy day. Right?
“There never would have been an Alexis Carson had one of them not gotten the
nerve to finally say something.”
anguish that day. She guessed that her dad was also stressed, but he already
knew what he was doing that night, so his nerves were probably of a different
sort. She was sad to leave Greer for a month over summer break, and couldn’t
imagine it being graduation and her facing the possibility of never seeing him
what they knew to be a happy ending to this part of the story. The next entry
was the day after graduation. It was also the last page in the diary. Alexis
smiled as she saw the huge letters at the top of the page.
WRITING THIS, AND I CAN’T STOP STARING AT MY LEFT HAND!
GOING TO MARRY HIM! YESTERDAY WE WERE FRIENDS, AND TODAY WE’RE ENGAGED! SOMEONE
PINCH ME, I’M DREAMING!
took up the whole front page. She had also drawn a picture of her ring, which
Alexis knew what it looked like because it was now hers. She kept it in her
jewelry box at home so she didn’t lose it. Her name was scrawled in her bubbly
cursive across the page. ‘Mrs. Kayley Carson’.
even write this all out. My hands are STILL shaking! So after gradation last
night, we went to Alex’s apartment. I was on the verge of tears the whole
night, and he knew something was wrong. He kept asking me if I was okay, and of
course, I kept saying yes. Why in the world we were so stupid and just didn’t
tell each other before now, I’ll never understand.
our families were sitting around talking. They really got along well, and that
was just one more thing that made me want to cry. I stood up to excuse myself
to the bathroom before I lost it in front of everyone when Alex stood up with
holding out his hand. When his hand touched mine, I had to bite my lip hard to
keep from breaking down. Today was supposed to be happy, but I couldn’t even be
glad that I just graduated. What was wrong with me? I had my whole life ahead of me,
and I was miserable.
could talk to him and say goodbye tonight without acting like a blubbering
looked out over the balcony, knowing it would be for the last time. All the
memories here, all of them had to do with Alex. The lump in my throat
thickened. Then I felt it. Alex wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. I
held my breath as he rested his chin on my shoulder. I couldn’t do this. I was
going to have to get out of here, and now.
face to face. That’s when my traitor eyes started leaking, tears running down
my face like a dam had opened up. Those beautiful eyes that I loved so much
looked at me in concern.
wrong?’ I memorized every moment about last night, because it was just that
amazing. I shook my head, not wanting to admit to him what I was feeling.
my hair back and cupped my face with his hands. I whimpered, not able to stop
got, because I was too afraid for him to say that he didn’t love me the way I
loved him, and that it had been nice knowing me.
Every single thing. He kissed me, his mouth moving softly on mine as he held my
face in his hands. We had kissed a few times already, of course, but none like
face was wet with tears again. ‘Don’t cry, honey. You don’t need to cry. You
reasons to cry, starting with the fact that I loved him so desperately it hurt.
making the one syllable word come out of my mouth.
more day not telling you how I feel. I refuse for us to leave here after today
having given up the best thing that’s ever happened to both of us. I love you,
Kayley. I’ve loved you since the day I first set eyes on you on that beach, and
every day after that, I’ve fallen more and more in love with you. I’ve been a
coward, afraid to go further because I didn’t want to ruin what we had. You’re
my best friend, Kay. I can’t imagine my life without you. Now I want you to
also be my wife.’
Carson. Dropped on one knee.
happiest man on earth and marry me.’
time, thinking someone was going to shake me awake and I’d realize it was just
and always had, and that YES I would be his wife. I think I shouted it. I know
I shouted it, because before we knew it, our parents were out on the porch
hugging and congratulating us. And just like that, I never have to live without
Alex ever again.
whispered, tracing the words with her fingers. She looked over at Hailey, her
eyes glassy with unshed tears.
do you think she wishes she never met him?”
many times. The time she got with Alex was amazing, and of course she had me
from it. She’s finally come to terms with the fact that he was only meant to be
part of her life for a short time, and that Ben was meant to be with her for
the rest of her life.”
the best love story, both of her love stories.”
place. “Yes. And I don’t doubt that her love for my dad Ben is just as strong,
if not stronger. But there’s always something about your first love.”
LL has been writing since she was old enough to write. Always a story in her head, she finally decided to let the characters out and start writing and try to make her lifelong dreams of becoming an author come true. She has been a teacher for over ten years and lives in Florida with her husband and two sons.